Waiting 'til marriage: When intimacy is on hold - MSN Dating & Personals

By Margot Carmichael Lester

In this values-driven day and age, holding out is in. Despite new-fangled ways to get your groove on, many people are taking an old-fashioned stand and deciding to wait to have sex until they're married.

And they may be onto something. Being honest about what you want actually increases the likelihood of getting it, if only because we all tend to draw in what we, er, put out. So if you’re abstaining and you’re not afraid to talk about it, you’re more likely to attract others who share your values. Let’s take a look at this choice—and how to date when you’ve made this decision.

How close can two people get without sex?
Abstainers say the waiting adds to their bond, heightens anticipation and keeps sex special. But how can abstainers with a 19th-century ideal manage in the racy world of 21st-century dating?

“Many believe that those who have chosen to save sex for marriage are in some ways afraid of intimacy,” says abstinence advocate Lakita Garth. “I would have to disagree. The people I know who have chosen to wait actually have more intimate relationships with the opposite sex. The absence of sex enables them to be 'real' with one another, and frees them to reveal who they truly are and in turn discover the other person.”

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